it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I wear drunk well.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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