i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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