I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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