That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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