help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
