That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
