i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
