we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
how drunk are you?
Several
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
