I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
