I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
