OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
