are you still at the devil's house?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
