...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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