There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
