He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
