Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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