i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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