doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
