Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I need to sanitize my soul.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
