so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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