There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
