The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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