my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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