i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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