3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
