I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
