Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
