Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
