Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
