i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
