I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
