so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
