Just fell off a train. Bad.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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