So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
