I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She's like a pop up book from hell.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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