if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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