Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
