if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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