Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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