Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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