So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize