This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
