Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
