The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize