i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
