Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
