We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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