i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
