just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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