I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
