Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
