What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
