Swine flu. Run for my life!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
