Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
