Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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