We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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