Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
