i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
