No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
