No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
