playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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