He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize