I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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