My nipple is on Facebook.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize