i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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