And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
