all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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