She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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