PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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