I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize