Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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