I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
